“To live and be happy, we need only two things: the first is to live, the second is to be happy.” The aphorism is lovely, the truth is simple, but is it possible? One day, I suddenly noticed that I somehow could not enjoy every day. Not to say that I’m a vicious beech. No, I’m a funny laugh! True … somewhere deep inside. I suddenly realized that I was wearing a mask of seriousness and gloominess, even when my heart was warm and calm. When did she stick with me? How to remove it now?
And I started a diary of joy.
How to keep a diary? There is nothing complicated about it. And if you also want to regain joy, and she returns (see the commentary of the psychologist), these points will explain a lot to you.
- The old shabby notebook for the diary is not suitable. Therefore, we first go to the store and make a present for ourselves – How to Choose a new one, which will be very pleasant for you! By this principle, we buy and pen.
- During the day we track everything that brought joy. The sun is shining; you have smiled, made a discount in the store, you have successfully passed the annual report, the scales showed minus 1.5 pounds … Take care of the joys of everyday life.
- Immediately write this in a diary. If it does not directly work, you can at the end of the day. But be sure to take a pen and a notebook: it is not mental to note joy.
- The diary must be kept every day. Better to make it your new habit. Therefore, we maintain a log of at least 40 days. Enjoy the lesson – go on. The longer, the better.
- In the first days, thoughts like: “some nonsense,” “kindergarten, really,” “there’s not enough time,” “but does it work?” Can arise. Works! Just keep writing.
90 days of positive
When the 40th day came, I could not stop. As a result, she held a diary for three months. I was looking for joy, like a sapper, in every day, tune into it in the morning. And she happened. Moreover, it multiplied, like smiles. Yesterday I noticed one small joy, and today just three and big ones. Nobody invited me to the Canary Islands; I did not treat panna cotta(dessert of cream, sugar, gelatin, and vanilla). The leaves just started to turn yellow – fun! I read the chapter of my favorite book – joy! Has handed over the text in the newspaper – in general, be hurt! New acquaintances, communication, laughter. It seemed that I was already attracting happy events.
And also, in my diary, I wrote down everything new every day — something that first entered my life. It turned out that I do a lot on the machine. I went to work only on one road; I bought about the same set of products … And it started: for the first time I tried to sleep across the bed (it was fun, like in childhood), I began to walk and drive more frequently on new routes (pride in ourselves), on the weekend we canceled a dream-hour with a child and watched a funny cartoon, and then baked pizza (a holiday!). I finally tried that same panna cottaand a lot of new things, made my first doll, visited a seminar on child psychology, began to paint a picture … You cannot enumerate everything.
I found my joy, and it’s such a thrill!
“This is the most popular dialogue in my office,” says a practicing psychologist and psychotherapist, personal well-being coach Anastasia Mazalova: “I want to enjoy life” – “What are you doing for this?” – “I have been waiting for joy”? ”-“ A long time ago, but it does not appear. ”
And then I tell you that joy is an ability, and ability is a muscle. And it must be trained! Constantly, with diligence. If you do not help her, nothing will change by itself. You will not wake up one morning suddenly happy if you have not done anything for it.
Is it enough for this only to keep a diary of joy?
You need to start with it. I often hear: this is stupid, it does not help … And to sit in sorrow and wait for the toggle switch to switch from “off” to “on magically”, isn’t it stupid? Wait for the “wizard in a blue helicopter” – is not it stupid? Understand, the wizard is yourself.
But the terminally ill or the person who is forced to go to the offensive work, or the one who cannot start a family, give birth to a child, will the diary solve his problems?
Of course, problems need to be addressed. We do not call for a laugh, that’s all. But the absence of a family or a small pension does not make the sun wrong or the flowers awful. This is a matter of perception. The question is, in what shades a person paints his life. Yes, sometimes we cannot choose circumstances, but what we can change is our mood. When a person is fixated on a problem, he is in a position of complaint: I am a victim. And nothing else notices!
Is it even close to sores?
When a person is happy, even if at first, even in an artificial way, he secretes hormones responsible for the positive state. In turn, they normalize stress hormones and the entire endocrine system. And if you are experiencing negative emotions day after day, energy is lost, and diseases can arise. Rejoicing, we support the whole organism, change its biochemistry, create new neural connections responsible for positive thinking.
And doesn’t such artificial joy hinder development and the desire for change? Man learned to rejoice, and why should he change something in life? She makes pennies, lives in a barn and has fun …
There is another question. Often people change jobs or wife from internal discomfort, and not because the work or wife/husband is terrible. They run from one place to another, carrying problems within themselves. There is a simple rule: change the inner world – and the outer one will change!
Didn’t you notice: fun comes easier in life? And, by the way, at the interview optimists perceive better. A confident person sees more opportunities, more open to new meetings and acquaintances. A person in a depressed mood is unlikely to be seen and generally met; he is closed in himself. If a person can enjoy every day and this ability is trained, he is more likely to catch luck by the tail.